Wish I Was a Butterfly

This sat on my desk for weeks unfinished, based on drawings I'd seen by Whistler and Matisse, and finally I realized it was done as it was.

Rezo Greywers, who is a rich study in culpability and the capacity of a good person to do evil, (c) Hajime Kanzaka

Chalk and oil pastels and Conte crayon on toned paper.

What Am I?
I Wish I Was A Butterfly
I'd Fly And Fly
Until It Was My Time To Die
It's Creeping In Again
I Know What I Really Am
No More Pretty, Purple,
Peaceful Butterfly
Simple Life
If I Were A Butterfly
I'd Fly And Fly
Until It Was My Time To Die
It's Creeping In Again
I Know What I Really Am
No More Pretty, Purple,
Peaceful Butterfly
Come See The Blood That's In My Bed
Come Hear The Things
That Nobody Talks About
Shut Up You Mouth
Shame On You Shame On Me
Look At Me
I Wish I Was A Honey Bee
Anything, Anything Other Than
The Things I Have Been
I Slip Out Of My Skin
So I Don't Have To Do It Again
But Just A Passing Thought
And Your Filth Is Seeping In
Come Scrub My Hands
They Won't Come Clean
Come Sit With Me
While The Walls Press In On Me
Shut Off That Light
Shame On You. Shame On Me.
~Tapping the Vein Interestingly this is a song about rape and the victim's tendency to assume the guilt and shame of the perpetrator. I often think of this character as the victim of all manner of forceful abuse, with his abuser, his world's most powerful demon, on the INSIDE. It's much like being in a prison of torment and having your OWN BODY and SOUL be the cell. Can you imagine that?